Double Crap on a Cracker

10/2/18

Double Poop on a Cracker:

After CT scan and an MRI I have learned that I have a brain tumor – In addition to the heart failure.

(I so adore and respect this younger version of myself! What all she/me/we/I have survived and the ways we’ve grown are incredible.)

Seriously Goddess??? WTF.

Here’s the skinny – I was diagnosed with heart failure the day before my birthday in August and started a cardiac cocktail of pills. I survived heart failure 20 years ago and I’m optimistic I can this time too. I think the new meds will counter the fact that I’m 20 years older. Because I was having periodical numbness and tingling beginning at my mouth and traveling down my left side, I was bumped up a week for angioplasty and had a stint put in.

At my cardio follow up I was still having the numbness and tingling periodically and cardio said my stint should have fixed that and I was to check with my primary doctor. I had a blood test and then a CT scan, which showed something then so I had an MRI.

I have what is called a Meningioma lesion; which is a type of tumor that is (thankfully) usually benign. It is considered small at less than 2cm however it is causing symptoms and is in a tricky place. “Benign” is misleading in that these tumors do continue to grow – usually at a slow rate. I had my first neurosurgeon appointment on Wednesday so finally got some answers to many questions. Those answers tend to lead to even more questions.

I experienced a flare-up of symptoms last weekend. When I woke Friday, I was so dizzy that I couldn’t get out of bed. It felt like everything was spinning and shaking and I was nauseated. I couldn’t focus my eyes on anything. My housemate helped get me up and checked for stroke. I felt a little better but by Saturday I had worse tingling and numbness but with lesser bouts of the spinning and shaking.

I chose to go to the hospital. They did numerous tests including more MRIs. The meningioma is causing some symptoms but there are other things compounding my health challenges that will be explored though ophthalmology and a vestibular therapist. My balance is still off but is much better than when I went into the hospital. And the PT taught me some coping strategies.

The tingling and numbness continue and happens more frequently and lasts longer than when I first noticed it in mid-July. Both cardiology and neurosurgeon say it’s not heart or tumor (based on the placement). So those symptoms are still a mystery. As you know, I am a stubborn woman; this has served me well and will this time too. I’m not looking for sympathy, rather to feel like I’m not keeping something from friends because now more than ever, friends matter. 

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers – I appreciate them!

Love and hugs,

Carol

Thank you for reading this older post – I hesitated including these and I flipped and flopped and overthought and then decided it would be worth including these as they may be useful to someone else on their own journey.

They not so elegantly document the messiness – and therein lies the beauty and purpose.

If you’d like to work with a life coach who’s walked some dark paths and also played with rainbows and fireflies please feel free to contact me here for availability and pricing.